Andy Bockelman columns
Three hours, one minute and 42 seconds sounds lengthy enough for a feature film. When you consider this is the span of the piece of the accidental amateur skin flick causing all the problems in the comedy “Sex Tape,” it seems downright infinite. And while the movie itself is only half this duration, it somehow seems even longer.
When “Thus Spake Zarathustra” began booming in the introduction for “2001: A Space Odyssey,” the hairy creatures involved were just starting to evolve at an extraordinary rate. The music of Richard Strauss may not be used in “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” but the animals of its story are already well past the point of no return in no development, whether you believe that to be a good thing or a bad thing.
The underlying theme of most films that take place behind the wheel is that the destination is less important than the personal journey people embark on while getting there. If that’s so, what are we to make of a movie such as “Tammy,” where it seems the parking brake is stuck for most of the action?
It’s exciting to think that a species from light years away would come all the way to our planet to touch our lives. When the result is a movie like “Earth to Echo,” that thrill is considerably lessened.
There are few things worse in the film world than a sequel to a surprise hit that crushes the magic of the first of its kind. The makers of “22 Jump Street” seem to be so aware of this, they wrote it right into the screenplay.
Hulking creatures with fangs, horns, claws and plenty more hazards on their bodies may sound frightening, but “How to Train Your Dragon 2” shows us they’re all a bunch of softies if you know how to treat them right.
Surrounded by blockbusters of every kind, “The Fault in Our Stars” may not be the kind of film you’re used to in the summertime cinema. But, if you’re looking for a thrill of a different kind, and you’re stocked up on Kleenex products, it’s one that should be on your list.
The more you know about the early lives of Tom Riddle or Anakin Skywalker, the more you understand how they became the people of notoriety they did. Still, do terrible childhoods and broken hearts necessarily make someone more captivating, powerful or magical? In the case of “Maleficent,” not really.
Here’s the story of a lovely lady, a guy who couldn’t be less like the man named Brady and five children with varying emotional issues that can easily be solved in the timeframe of two hours — “Blended.”
As Blue Öyster Cult so eloquently put it, “history shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man,” a statement often applicable in the cinema. Even so, the newest version of “Godzilla” is an exercise in rewriting the past that could mean BÖC needs to retool some of the lyrics of one of their top songs.
We know what the university experience is like for ages 18 to 25 thanks to classics like “Animal House” and “Revenge of the Nerds,” but seeing it through the eyes of someone outside the student body doesn’t inspire hope for the future. Maybe that’s why “Neighbors” is a lot less amusing than it means to be.
The summer movie season is officially here, and with comic book films leading the charge, we start it off with “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” which leaves us hanging as to whether we can accept the new version of the title hero. But that’s not always a bad thing.
The chance to see Sonny Crockett deck Jaime Lannister is something every television buff never knew they always wanted. Even so, there are more pressing matters and more capable stars in a movie like “The Other Woman,” such as the sentiment "sisters before misters."
Everyone has a favorite ornithological cliché, whether it’s about birds of a feather flocking together or a bird in the hand being worth two in the bush. In the case of “Rio 2,” the appropriate saying seems to be “kill two birds with one stone” because having a second movie doesn’t make the first one any better.
A story doesn’t have to be true, moral or even make complete sense in order to be meaningful. If none of these things bother you, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” has a vacancy.